My alabaster box

Its time…

To move on, to press on…day light has come and gone, and decisions are staring me down wanting answers. Well, I can’t give those answers right now,  not that I don’t want to… I  can’t because I’m being told to wait. So, wait I will.

I have taken my alabaster box and have poured it out before the feet of my Master, the one who has saved me from myself, the One who will never leave..my Jesus. He’s not just mine you know…he’s yours too. Its not our sacrifice, but His…its not our works, but His. Its His gift to us, our choice to follow. Would you care to take this dance of freedom and love?

Tonight I fell in love again, with my Lord, with those around me, the places in which he has planted me…how quickly we forget.   Its not an emotional high that lasts for only so long… it is a cross centered life that brings a new purpose, a new hope and joy. There are probably a couple other posts on here that speak of the same things I’m talking about right now, but that’s where I am, and  who I am.

I think that possibly, maybe I’ve fallen for you.

The grass is my floor.

So we sat and played melodies for unfamiliar faces, watched them come and go,  watched them listen, and caught stares in exchange for smiles that broke the ice, because it was cold out…we wore winter clothes in July.  The coffee shop was a bar in the end, no quaint hippie stories there…but the mocha was decent.

So God is teaching me. Well when isn’t he? Teaching me about forgiveness, teaching me about sacrifice, showing me the connections between the two, and the list could go on…

I went for a walk this morning and the grass was wet with last night’s rain and the early morning dew…there were birds. I wish I was one of them. Yesterday still feels like today, maybe cause there was no separation.  The sky was adorned with an orange hazy light, and it looks exactly the same as I sit here and write this now.

The highway said that freedom was off exit 157…the highway was wrong. Is it something we chase, or does freedom chase after us? Open your hands and find out.

She’s living in love…so am I.

We had cuts from fields and drank tea into the early morning light.

Its late. Sleep isn’t here, and I have a feeling it won’t be coming over for a while yet…I can pretty much guarantee you that one. So I was writing down thoughts in my notebook and decided it would get posted on here. Don’t ask why, but I had a sudden urge to write as much as I could before passing out, and to discourage that would be to deny half of who I am.  Yes my name is drama…how are you tonight?

“I’m writing with a pencil thats missing an eraser. Isn’t that the whole purpose? No different than ink now…

I want to cry, but nothing is coming out. Ambient writing is my favorite because it brings inspiration where over head lighting can’t…so long live candles.  Her ceremony is today, much later on today…a symbol of  moving on, and accomplishments. “Tea at dusk and tea at dawn”…Those words were and are the essence of who we are. We lived our lives with a sense of something more and a connection with those close and afar that can’t be explained, and never will be.

Times change, we change… but the roots of  our identity stay the same. They end up attaching themselves to people who come and go, and to those we’d rather forget about, but the facts never change. We can run from ourselves, but at some point we’re caught. There was a day that was monumental in my life, and I pray to God that I never forget it. To love with no condition and to take away conditions of worth…that changes lives. The sunrise and I have plans in a few hours, I can imagine that my God has a few words He’d like to say…or maybe not. Maybe the silence of morning will be enough. My heads been in a fog for the past few weeks, and to finally form paragraphs in my mind, to paper is a miracle in itself. The point of this whole page is that I’ve forgotten my inspiration and where it came from.  Tonight I remembered…

and it feels like home.”

Goodnight.

Cloud by day, Fire by night

So I let an entire month go by without even a thought of writing on this thing. Okay, so maybe I thought about it a couple times, but there hasn’t been much motivation or inspiration for that matter. I’m sitting at a desk that isn’t my own, starring out a window that is surrounded by walls of metal and concrete…what a view.  It feels like such an early morning, when its only a little after nine, and I’ve discovered that in my short time here, I will never function in an office or any sort of institutionalized building, maybe its a fear of the lack of color. It effects people you know…

 

I’m sitting in a waiting room…have a feeling I”ll be here for a while. The fact is, I’ve been in a waiting room for quite sometime, and my name hasn’t been called yet. Or maybe it has and I wasn’t listening. Well I’m listening now and whether it be a cloud by day or a fire by night, I will follow and never look back.

No notebook around…so here I am, writing here. I could list every single event that has happened in the past month, but there isn’t any purpose in that, and it wouldn’t be very interesting either…maybe I’ll just open my mouth and let words come out, hopefully they make some sort of sense. 

What can you learn in a month? Trust…love… more peace…some more trust, and a lot more faith.  Its more like what can you learn in a day, and multiply that by 30. 

          Want a ring? Don’t worry…its just optimism.